'Twas the Night Before Christmas - or - A Mechanic St. Christmas Memory

Imagine, 20 years ago: Trent and Zane Meltzer were on the "Nice" list. They wanted bicycles. What could go wrong?

Dear readers,

Similar to the way Billy Keane gives his dad a day off by drawing his dad’s cartoon, Family Circus, I decided as an early Christmas present to give my dad a day off by writing his column. My mother, Sandy, pointed out that it is also a gift for dad’s readers. According to Mom, you will all enjoy a break from another of Dad’s rambling stories from the past featuring Chia Pets, Lawn Jarts, and Popeil’s Pocket Fisherman.

So, instead of one of Dad’s stories from the past, I would like to share with you one of my favorite memories from Christmas past. It was a Christmas a little over 20 years ago. My brother, Zane, and I both asked Santa for new bikes. We wanted BMX bikes to ride on the bike trails in Sunset Park.

Unfortunately, Dad, like many men in their 40s, was suffering from a severe case of acute nostalgia. In our Dad’s mind’s eye he pictured us riding old school Schwinns on our paper routes. He pictured us saving up to buy a really neat Lionel train set at Griffey’s Finer Sporting Goods.

So, instead of the cool new BMX bikes that we had asked for, under the tree that year were two vintage Schwinn Typhoons: a red one for me and a black one for Zane. Beside the bikes was a note from Santa. Santa explained that the reason for the vintage bicycles was that they were originally intended for Jeff Linder and his brother, Eric, on Christmas Day 1963. However, after checking his list twice before leaving the North Pole, Jeff and Eric were the recipients of a couple of lumps of coal that year.

So, were our new BMX bikes hidden in another room? Was this just one of our dad’s corny jokes? Unfortunately not. Dad really believed that the vintage Schwinns were the best gift ever, and I guess it is the thought that counts. Later that year, I am happy to report, my brother and I did get BMX bikes. A few years later, the Christmas memory of the old Schwinns became part of another Meltzer Christmas tradition. So long as I can remember, on Christmas Eve, my grandfather, Philip Meltzer, recites the poem "A Visit from St. Nicholas." Years ago, I wrote a poem of my own to recite annually for the family.

Trent, his wife Jenny, and their children, June, Rose, and Pearl are currently making Christmas memories on Pennsylvania Street. Trent says it is hard to believe that over 20 years have passed since he and his brother received the old Schwinns. However, some things don't change. His 91-year-old grandfather, Philip, can still recite the poem "A Visit from St. Nicholas."

‘Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

My brother and I were snug in our beds.

While visions of new bikes danced in our heads.

When out in the alley we heard a noise.

Zane thought it was Santa with our new toys.

We wanted to see Santa so to the window we snuck.

But it just looked like Ernest unloading a truck.

I said, “Maybe it’s Dad, he and Ernest are almost twins.”

Zane said, “Look he’s unloading some rusty old Schwinns.”

The next morning Zane and I were sad.

We realized that Santa’s helper really was Dad.

Why didn’t Santa find a helper he could trust?

Zane and I didn’t ask for old bikes covered with rust.

This year I told Santa for me and my brother,

If you need a helper, please ask our mother!